Decoding Love II

HI Life,,

Its often that I ask myself, What is Love!!, and then getting no answer I now ask you-- What is Love??....

I am tired of a battle that is being waged around me on a daily basis - tired of being awake whole nights getting hit and fighting it out - trying to Understand Her, trying to Understand Love.. And all I get to understand is the various facets of myself.. --And I am tired of wanting for someone who atleast tries to understand my love, my affection, my commitment and not just see the frustration that emanates out of those same emotions in the form of angry outbursts.

"Is dil mein aarman hote to hai.....
bas Koi samjhe Zaarah!!!"

Love is not an easy emotion - there are people in this world who can love without attachment, without commitment and still they are happy and together and everything is fine in the world - there is no problem!But still there are others, for whom Love means a lot. They feel it, they Live it but unfortunately are not able to experience it...for all that they get in Love is Pain!!.

Its often said that Life's best gift is the gift of Love,,, that feeling of being special, that feeling of being important, the feeling of an assurance that there is someone who is and would always be there for you...somene who is a witness to your Life... True, it happens but not for everyone...

Love is such a beautiful world .... it makes the mind go round; intoxicated with all the nectars of love and fantasy.... round and round.. faster and faster ..... till the mind spins and the soul comes crashing down in a tail-spin.

And then you find out that it was never to be.... that you were attempting to fly over the topmost peaks of the Himalayas, touch the stern cold mount of Mount Everest and all that you were carrying was a balloon..... but love is so foolish that it refuses to listen and goes on till all it has for it's efforts are nothings but pains and tears!

Every Prometheus of the world of love has to suffer the punishment of having his heart being clawed out of his breast every day and eaten raw.... and to the worst of it... he also faces the torture of being immortal to suffer this ongoing agony every day!

And so it goes on ..... the pain and the agony.....

"Har bebasi mein, Is zindagi mein,
tujhko hi Chaha, tujko hi Maanga,
Magar jin raaston se guzra yeh Dil tha,
Manzil mili na, chain na paya..."

But now I ask you Life...till when.. till when am I to suffer this agony and pain... till when am I to be a witness of all that is sad in this world...I am tired of this....All of this....!!!!!!!!

Decoding Love I

Somewhere in our consciousness, is a reflection of a dream... .a dream of someone we think as very special to us.... someone that we always wanted to be our partner in life.... someone we do not know but whose foggy images lie entrenched in the depths of our consciousness, often unknown to us.... but the truth is that all of us have somewhere in the deep recesses of our heart a picture of the love that we desire and we expect in our hearts.....

The pursuit of a perfect love is often a difficult task One spends his entire life looking for that elusive reflection, that suauve image, that silent desire and many a times it's remains just that .... a dream. It's not that one desires always a perfect person. To be frank, Nobody wants a lover with a perfect figure, face and features... all one wants is a heart full of love and a soul full of care, faith and integrity, someone who is an exact replica of the image in the heart.
As Shailendra once said:

Chand Si Mehbooba Ho Meri Kab Aisa Maine Socha Tha?
Haan.... Tum Bilkul Waisi Ho... Jaisa Maine Socha Tha!

We may call it the Mr. Right or Miss Perfect Syndrome or by whatever else we feel it to be but the truth remains that all of us spend a great deal of our time trying to find that love.... some search for that elusive non-existent ideal all through the lives ..... every person we meet is often compared to that reflection in our minds ... and then accordingly accepted or rejected....... this continues day after day, month after month, year after year .... the heart breaks and again smiles in hope of a better tomorrow... and again bites the dust....

And then one day defeated by the continuous frustrations and deviations from what we assume to be the perfect comrade for us on the way of life, we lay down our weapons... we sacrifice our love...

And then softly and slowly without turning back, we go on.... mindful of our dreams being left on the middle of the road, orphaned and devastated... the tears fall but we still go on, fearing that one day our own heart would betray us if we stopped and turned back to the world....

It takes guts but Man finally accepts the cards dealt out by the hands of Fate and starts adjusting his own self to his resigned fate.... the memory of that dream that stirred his heart in the early days of his life slowly fades away until one day Man remembers that he has become just another creature in this carnival of life... shorn of all his hopes and aspirations, he becomes just another person. And we console our hearts by saying consistently,

Hum Kyoon Shiqwaa Karen Jhoota!
Kya Hua Jo Dil Toota?
Mitti Ka Khilona Tha; Kuch Na Kucch Hona Tha
Hua!

And then when everything is lost, God suddenly decides that He exists.... that he has to show he 'exists' and so to add salt to the wound.. he decided to play benovelent.. by you have lost everything - your dreams, your desires, your love and reconciled yourself to the vagaries of life - to a life without love, to a life shorn of happiness, to a life wedded to loneliness and then suddenly when you think that "jee lenge" - God decides to present you with that image, that reflection that you have reflected upon so many times in solitude..... an image that's now more inaccessible then before....

And then your heart starts asking you a question..... As usual he is emotional and refuses to listen.. all it wants is to get it's beloved in his embrace while on the other hand the mind, mindful of the practicalities of the situation refuses to let it go...

Josh Kehta Hai Ki Chal,
Hosh Kehta Hai Sambhal,
Kiska Kehna Maan Loon?
Manzil Hai Mere Saamne!

And then begins a battle between the loving heart and the loving but pained mind..... a battle that tears apart the soul, the mind and the heart... a battle that has no end... they are lucky who are successful but even so are those who lose.. because what wins is LOVE!

And another story begins......